marți, 30 iunie 2009

Fun for Laughs

De mult vroiam sa va spun despre un site al tipului acela cu ochelari (that guy with the glasses). Este un site in care gasiti mai multe lucruri misto, cum ar fi Bum Reviews(unde un vagabond care intra in cinema sa se incalzeasca, povesteste despre ce a vazut el in film-nu sunt lungi si sunt amuzante rau! )Nostagia Critic, 5" Movies, si mai sunt si altele, insa nu m-am uitat inca prin toate. Iata cateva filmulete de acolo, sper sa va placa si voua!










duminică, 28 iunie 2009

Alterarea ADNului



Acum de cand cu moartea lui Michael am reusit sa-i vad si eu copii. Azi chiar, la tv, ca discutau despre cui va ramane custodia lor. Acum nu am de gand sa vorbesc despre chestia asta, ma intereseaza catusi de putin. Mie mi se pare interesant un alt fapt. A reusit cineva sa observe faptul ca acei copii sunt copii albi normali? Acum nu va ganditi la mai stiu eu e prostii si absurditati.
Ma refer la faptul ca daca parintii sunt unul negru altul caucazian intodeauna va iesi un mulatru. Acel mulatru poate fi mai deschis la culoare sau ma inchis. Dar tot mulatru e si are trasaturi de negru, chiar si daca numai culoarea mai inchisa a pielii.
Ori acesti copii parca sunt facuti de doi oameni caucazieni. Acum, eu stiu ca toti zic ca el si-a facut operatii chirurgicale si tratamente ca sa-si albeasca pielea. De ce?, numai el stie. Poate ca se simtea marginalizat in lumea muzicii ca negru. Paote avea dreptate. Poate ca nu asta este, in fine... El stiu ca pretindea ca are nush ce boala(nu cred ca a mai fost auzit de vreun negru cu boala asta) care ii albeste pielea. A, si vorbesc de culoarea lui numai, nu am leg de operatiile la nas si alte chestii.
Baiatul cica ar semana cu el, insa nu este mulatru. Fata parca ar fi facuta de blonzi, nici macar de bruneti. Eu nu stiu ce fel de tratamente si ce operatii si-a facut omul asta, dar ori nu sunt copii lui, ori s-a distrus in asa hal incat sa-si modifice ADNul. Eu alta explicatie nu am. Copii aia trebuiau sa fie mulatrii, macar unul sa aiba parul cret(ati observat ca el nici parul cret nu-l mai avea? poate ca si-l intindea el pe placa, dar nici copii lui nu au parut cret ca de negru, fata ce-l are mai ondulat). Eu chiar nu stiu ce sa zic, voi aveti vreo parere legata de acest subiect?

sâmbătă, 27 iunie 2009

Ce spune Lisa Marie Presley despre moartea fostului ei sot

" Friday, June 26, 2009

He Knew.

Years ago Michael and I were having a deep conversation about life in general.

I can't recall the exact subject matter but he may have been questioning me about the circumstances of my Fathers Death.

At some point he paused, he stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, "I am afraid that I am going to end up like him, the way he did."

I promptly tried to deter him from the idea, at which point he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded almost matter of fact as if to let me know, he knew what he knew and that was kind of that.

14 years later I am sitting here watching on the news an ambulance leaves the driveway of his home, the big gates, the crowds outside the gates, the coverage, the crowds outside the hospital, the Cause of death and what may have led up to it and the memory of this conversation hit me, as did the unstoppable tears.

A predicted ending by him, by loved ones and by me, but what I didn't predict was how much it was going to hurt when it finally happened.

The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the LA County Coroners office for his Autopsy.

All of my indifference and detachment that I worked so hard to achieve over the years has just gone into the bowels of hell and right now I am gutted.

I am going to say now what I have never said before because I want the truth out there for once.

Our relationship was not "a sham" as is being reported in the press. It was an unusual relationship yes, where two unusual people who did not live or know a "Normal life" found a connection, perhaps with some suspect timing on his part. Nonetheless, I do believe he loved me as much as he could love anyone and I loved him very much.

I wanted to "save him" I wanted to save him from the inevitable which is what has just happened.

His family and his loved ones also wanted to save him from this as well but didn't know how and this was 14 years ago. We all worried that this would be the outcome then.

At that time, In trying to save him, I almost lost myself.

He was an incredibly dynamic force and power that was not to be underestimated.

When he used it for something good, It was the best and when he used it for something bad, It was really, REALLY bad.

Mediocrity was not a concept that would even for a second enter Michael Jackson's being or actions.

I became very ill and emotionally/ spiritually exhausted in my quest to save him from certain self-destructive behavior and from the awful vampires and leeches he would always manage to magnetize around him.

I was in over my head while trying.

I had my children to care for, I had to make a decision.

The hardest decision I have ever had to make, which was to walk away and let his fate have him, even though I desperately loved him and tried to stop or reverse it somehow.

After the Divorce, I spent a few years obsessing about him and what I could have done different, in regret.

Then I spent some angry years at the whole situation.

At some point, I truly became Indifferent, until now.

As I sit here overwhelmed with sadness, reflection and confusion at what was my biggest failure to date, watching on the news almost play by play The exact Scenario I saw happen on August 16th, 1977 happening again right now with Michael (A sight I never wanted to see again) just as he predicted, I am truly, truly gutted.

Any ill experience or words I have felt towards him in the past has just died inside of me along with him.

He was an amazing person and I am lucky to have gotten as close to him as I did and to have had the many experiences and years that we had together.

I desperately hope that he can be relieved from his pain, pressure and turmoil now.

He deserves to be free from all of that and I hope he is in a better place or will be.

I also hope that anyone else who feels they have failed to help him can be set free because he hopefully finally is.

The World is in shock but somehow he knew exactly how his fate would be played out some day more than anyone else knew, and he was right.



I really needed to say this right now, thanks for listening.

~LMP "



sursa: Lisa Marie Presley's My Space Blog

vineri, 26 iunie 2009

E el sau nu e el?

Si daca e el, ce a patit saracul de a ajuns asa?

Alex Ubago(e oarecum cunoscut) a scos melodie cu Craig David si cel din urma e de nerecunoscut... Eu unul daca nu as auzi vocea lui, as jura ca e altul. Mi se pare mie?



joi, 25 iunie 2009

Cleansing of the soul

Am zis sa pun ceva muzica buna pentru trup si mai ales pentru spirit. Daca va deranjeaza ca e spaniola, asta e. Nu imi va trece curand...



Manuel Carrasco "Sígueme"
Vezi mai multe video din Muzica








V-a placut vreo una?

Satul!

Nasol de tot cu joabele astea! Am aplicat in stanga si-n dreapta, unde m-as pricepe, unde nu prea, pe net, prin ziare, nimic! Imi vine sa ma dau cu capu de toti peretii cand vad ca mai stau in o mana de bani ca nu stiu ce sa iau din piata ca sa-mi ajunga cat mai bine pe viitor(o investitie buna) si cand vad ca nimeni nu ma suna, nu ma contacteaza. E si vara de acum, nimeni nu vrea pregatire, totul e de-andoaselea! Sunt foarte deceptionat si suparat. Nu sunt inca deprimat, insa cred ca urmeaza, daca lucrurile se mentin asa.

Si venind vorba de vreme, se mai termina odata cu perioada asta de imperechere? Acum 3-4 zile erau niste mate pe afara care scoteau urletul ala specific de imperechere, si bineinteles ca am dormit foarte greu. Colac peste pupaza, dimineata ma trezesc in batai puternice de aripi si mers pe pervaz. Cand colo, ce sa vad, cei doi porumbei din teiul din fata blocului(care imi vine in fata ferestrei de la balconul din bucatarie,ca tot am zis sa culeg cateva flori de tei) se curteau de zor prin copaci si pe pervazul meu. Se curteau, si-o trageau... in fine. Ma rog, el de fapt incerca, ea o facea pe inabordabila. Desi sunt impreuna de cand eram eu mic, tot il mai pune pe jar. Uite asta e de laudat la un cuplu, nu?:)) Mda. Si zboara de pe pervaz in copac(tot aproape de fereastra). Ganguresc, scot sunetul ala al lor, timp in care masculu nu inceteaza sa bata din aripi incercand sa o calareasca pe porumbita.
Apropo, nu-s bolnav, pur si simplu m-am uitat sa vad ce se tot aude, si cu stupoare am vazut scena. Am ramas mirat pentru ca in atatia ani e prima oara cand iii vad asa, inainte cine stie pe unde si-o trageau... :)) Nu am zabovit prea mult uitandu-ma la ei, gonindu-i evident, ca sa ma pot culca la loc.

Si as dormi incontinuu, as dormi ani, ca sa trec peste perioada asta naspa si sa nu ma distrug mental si fizic. Poate fac si din tantar armasar, insa... e naspa rau!

luni, 22 iunie 2009

Fun for Laughs

"Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?"
--John Mendoza

"Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's
how dogs spend their lives."
--Sue Murphy

"Chihuahua. There's a waste of dog food. Looks like a dog that is still
far away."
--Billiam Coronell

"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight."
--Rita Rudner

"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
--Paul Rodriguez


A Letter to Dad


Letter home from school...
Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Your $on.


A week later..... a letter from "home"


Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,
Dad



Rita Rudner's Facts About Men

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced
pain and bought jewelry.
8. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
10. All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.
16. Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a
combination address book, telescope and piano.
20. All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me
for a list of names.
21. Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.
22. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types:
depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
23. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in
winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters
that snore.
24. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man
walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of
here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."
28. Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter
and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
32. Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.
36. Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we
going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."
38. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get
out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you
want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you...I want to marry
you...I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.
39. Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: "Mitch, you
look great." Mitch: "Thanks." On the other side: Ruth, you look great." Ruth:
"I do? Must be the lighting."
41. Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
43. Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because
their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button
and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need
men to help us get dressed.
44. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with superheros.
Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
46. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female
menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause - you get to
date young girls and drive motorcycles.
47. Men forget everything; women remember everything.
48. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten
what happened.
49. Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
50. All men would still really like to own a train set.




sâmbătă, 20 iunie 2009

My lovely cat!

Un prieten mi-a dat un link (o poza) catre un site foarte drag mie- Lolcats. M-am amuzat cat m-am amuzat eu, uitandu-ma pe acolo, si deodata m-a cuprins un dor nebun dupa pisica mea.

Arata ceva de genul
(nu avea botul asa ascutit)

Era o mironosita si jumatate, multe pisici au numele "printesa", ei ea nu avea nume(o chema original Bilutza, da cum sa-i zic asa?) si o pasaiam, nu o strigam dupa nici un nume, insa se comporta ca o printesa. Avea niste nazuri, si ifose cum rar vezi la pisici(de ex ceea ce pt pisici ar fi super atractiv, pe ea nu o atrageau), nu vroia sa stea la mangaiat insa venea noaptea sa te trezeasca sa o mangai... Ei, o figura, si imi lipseste....

OH MY GOD!

Femeile sunt din nastere asa? Nasol rau... Bine, si unii barbati, din care fac parte si eu.


vineri, 19 iunie 2009

Ar trebui sa-mi platesc si eu facturile asa...

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead.
I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.




From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,
You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached




From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane,
Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,
Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th.
David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95.
Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thankyou for contacting me.
I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.




From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,
As I have stated, we do not accept drawings instead of money for accounts outstanding.
We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definitely make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached

miercuri, 17 iunie 2009

O poveste frumoasa

Tocmai ce am vazut un minunat film. Nu prea am stat sa ma uit pe imdb despre ce este vorba in "Marley and Me" pentru ca am plecat de la premiza ca un film cu Jennifer Aniston si Owen Wilson trebuie sa fie bun. SI eram bucuros ca el s-a apucat iar de munca dupa episodul neplacut pe care l-a trait, si ma bucur ca si ea e din ce in ce mai bine,pentru ca a iesit cel mai prost din relatia cu Brad Pitt,desi el si Angelina trebuiau sa traiasca un moment de nepopularitate(dar oamenii asa frumosi si iubiti, se pare ca pot scapa cu orice). In fine, nu despre asta este vorba, ci despre filmul mai sus mentionat pe care eu il credeam a fi o comedioara romantica. Perfect pentru a trece timpul si pentru a mai uita de anumite aspecte ale realitatii! Sa dovedit a nu fi o comedioara romantica simpla(nu ca ar fi un film plin de substanta) ci pur si simplu o poveste cu anumite aspecte comice(din cate am inteles este ecranizarea unui bestseller-din trailerul prezentat mai jos ). Prezinta viata unui caine, parte integranta a unei familii. Ceea ce vreau sa spun este ca preazinta atat cainele, cat si familia cum evolueaza de-a lungul timpului: cainele creste, primul copil, marire de salariu,posibilitatea de a da cainele afara, al doilea copil,, neintelegeri in cuplu, al treilea copil, schimbare job si oras, copii cresc, cainele imbatraneste. De ce e interesant filmul de vazut? Pentru ca acel caine este o pacoste netolerata nici de dresorii de caini, si povestea chiar este una frumoasa si induiosatoare. Nu e nimic gen Lassie, uras povestile gen Lassie!(Asta pt cei care nu vor , ca si mine, un film plin cu dulcegarii cu animale de companie.)



luni, 15 iunie 2009

Time to wake up


E timpul sa ma trezesc din visarile de adolescent ce persista cu naivitate in fiinta mea. Este timpul sa ma trezesc la realitate si sa miros rahatul ce ma inconjoara. No, not the roses. Asta e o chestie care ni se baga in cap in mod sistematic ca viata e frumoasa, ca trebuie sa savurezi clipa. Carpe diem este o utopie, un ideal. Idealurile nu exista, sunt doar proiectate intr-un viitor continuu. Cine spune ca viata = roses, este un fericit. Nu stiu daca este fericit in adevaratul sens al cuvantului, nu cred. De regula sunt cei de sus, care traiesc viata 'din plin', cum ne dorim si noi de altfel: sa iesim in oras si sa spargem bani pe distractie, vacante, good food, o casa frumoasa, viata sa fie un vis. Nu cred ca exista astfel de lume, si daca exista cateva exceptii, chiar nu vreau sa cunosc acele exceptii. Insa de regula nu exista, pentru ca daca pt cineva viata este ca un vis, de regula exact asta e. Un vis. Ai bani sa faci toate cele mentionate mai sus, insa e foarte posibil sa nu ai cu cine, si sa fii gol pe dinauntru, ca un fruct frumos si atragator insa gaunos si plin de viermi pe dinauntru.
Iar daca esti om normal si ai relatii normale, sau aproape normale, de prietenie, iubire, este posibil sa nu poti savura viata in plenitudinea ei. te bucuri de o oarecare bunastare materiala, insa de preiteni adevarati. Insa cum mereu nimic nu este ceea ce pare a fi, sau aproape mereu, niciodata nu poti fi sigur de ceea ce spui, si de ceea ce crezi.
Cu alte cuvinte, ar trebui sa ma opresc din a bate campii cu gratie, si sa ajung la ce ma doare pe mine.
Life sucks! And I need a job! De urgenta!!!!!

Later Edit: Va rog sa raspundeti la sondajul alaturat ( --> ). As vrea sa stiu daca pierd vremea sau nu cu siturile pentru cautare unui loc de munca.

vineri, 12 iunie 2009

How to write a paper in college/university:



1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.
2. Log onto MSN and ICQ (be sure to go on away!). Check your email.
3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate.

5. Check your email.

6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to grab a coffee. Just to get settled down and ready to work.

7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place.

8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

9. Check your email.

10. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

12. Grab some mp3z off of kazaa.
13. Check your email. ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR YET?!

14. MSN chat with one of your friends about the future. (ie summer plans).

15. Check your email.

16. Listen to your new mp3z and download some more.

17. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory emarks about your prof, the
course, the college, the world at large.
18. Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You've probably run out.

19. While you've got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and read it.

20. Check your email.

21. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV.

22. Play some solitare (or age of legends!).

23. Check out bored.com.
24. Wash your hands.

25. Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably haven't started either.

26. Look through your housemate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.

27. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

28. Check to see if bored.com has been updated yet.

29. Check your email and listen to your new mp3z.

30. You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is crashing on schedule.

31. Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.

32. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

33. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

34. Punch the wall and break something.

35. Check your email.

36. Mumble obscenities.

37. 5am - start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am -paper is finished.

38. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write that stupid paper.

39. Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap.

marți, 9 iunie 2009

Nu aruncati video-ul! Iata ce puteti face cu el:

Pirate Laws


E cam mult de citit, sunt funny, insa le puteti lua pe sarite!

1. A pirate does not ask for directions. He relies only on his gut feeling, a compass, or a treasure map.
2. Parrots are the preferred pirate companion. Monkeys are an acceptable substitute, unless they fling their feces at people. Then they are an awesome substitute.
3. When fishing, a pirate uses either a sword, a knife, or his bare hands. Use of a hook is only acceptable in the event the pirate is missing a hand.
4. Pirates shall always wear boots, except in the case of a peg leg. Then one boot is acceptable. Flip-flops are right out.
5. Pirates do not cry, except in the case of the loss of a shipload of rum.
6. When describing the size of a treasure, a pirate is required to exaggerate by at least 130%. Flowers are not treasure under any circumstances, unless said flowers are made out of gold.
7. A pirate shall never wear lipstick, nail polish, or capri pants. Actually, that kinda goes without saying.
8. No pirate shall discuss his feelings, unless his feelings include gutting a man from stem to stern and spilling his entrails.
9. A pirate should always remove his hat in the presence of a bartender.
10. During a swordfight, swordfighting insults are required. In the event both participants are still alive at the end of the fight, the participant with the superior insults shall be declared the victor.
11. No pirate shall ever wear a "fanny pack".
12. All foods prepared by a pirate must include rum, grog, or beer. Boone's and other "Wench Punch" is prohibited.
13. A pirate may never compliment another pirate on the softness of his hands.
14. No pirate shall wear a bracelet or a necklace, unless it is the tooth or tusk of an animal he killed. If in the presence of cannibals, a necklace is acceptable camouflage, but only if said necklace is made of human toes.
15. Pirate Law: Dousing oneself in beer is a perfectly acceptable replacement for a shower.
16. No pirate shall drink Grog out of a glass. Grog is only to be consumed either straight from the barrel, or from a mug heavy enough to to kill a man.
17. Three-cornered hats, headbands and bandanas are the only acceptable headwear for pirates. Fedoras, bowler derbies, baseball caps, mickey ears, top hats, sombreros, or anything with lace and flowers will be removed from the vessel-- head included. A grace period of one minute is allowed for hats looted from a tailory.
18. A pirate shall never wrap presents. The only thing a pirate gives is a bludgerin'.
19. Pirate Law: A pirate does not use the word "Fabulous". Ever.
20. No pirate shall attend a movie with less than an Arrrr rating.
21. Only a pirate is capable of killing another pirate. If you are not a pirate (let's say a ninja) and wish to challenge a pirate, they have a word for that. Corpse.
22. Pirate Law: "ARRRRRRRRRRR..." is a perfectly acceptable answer to any question.
23. A pirate does not "go shopping". Unless by "shopping", you mean "killing".
24. Peglegs must be made of timber or some other suitable wood. Plastic, ceramic, porcelain, or metal peglegs are utterly unnacceptable, simply because it complicates the use of the phrase "shiver me timbers".
25. Real pirates have chest hair. If you cannot grow chest hair, you may be a cabin boy.
26. Under no circumstances is a comb-over an acceptable pirate hairdo.
27. No pirate may ever change his shirt because it is "wrinkled". A pirate may only change his shirt if it is completely soaked in blood.
28. When drinking, Pirates may sing. "Fifteen Men on a Dead Man's Chest" is preferred. Kelly Clarkson songs are not allowed.
29. No pirate shall ever drive a minivan, unless he drives the minivan into a tavern, for the purposes of looting barrels of rum from said tavern. Upon completion of this task, the minivan is to be burned. No exceptions.
30. No matter how hard it is raining, two pirates may never share an umbrella. Pirates do not fear rain.
31. If circumstances demand a career change, a move into real estate brokerage or tax collection shall be considered a lateral move and said individual may keep their pirate status.
32. A pirate does not snuggle with an animal, unless he is trying to snap its neck. But I guess that wouldn't really be "snuggling".
33. A pirate may never wear another man's clothing, unless he first kills that man.
34. Two pirates must never share a bed or a hammock. It is perfectly acceptable for one pirate to sleep on the floor, or on a pile of treasure.
35. Pirates do not wear eyeglasses or bifocals unless they are looking at a treasure map, and even then they are allowed only a monacle. Any comments about "Mr. Peanut" while wearing the monacle are prohibited.
36. When setting out on a voyage, a pirate does not pack a suitcase. He is only to bring what he can carry under his arms, or what his wench can carry on her back.
37. A pirate does not mow the lawn. Lawns are for landlubbers.
38. Lifting or removing one's eyepatch is extremely impolite but is not considered an insult. It's just kinda gross. Likewise, one should never remove another pirate's eyepatch, except with a sword to the face.
39. Pirates never use the words "fresh" or "feelings," and certainly not together (as in "I have that not-so-fresh feeling").
40. A pirate must never visit a tanning salon. If he is not already tan enough from searching for treasure, he hasn't been searching hard enough.
41. While creativity is encouraged during any barfight or battle at sea, pirates may only use the following types of sword; falchions, scimitars, rapiers, and particularly long knives. Katanas or any other Ninja sword are strictly forbidden, unless the Pirate rips off a Ninja's arm and hurls the arm, and attached Katana, as a projectile.
42. No pirate shall ever sit on a toilet seat, for any reason.
43. Kidnapping is an acceptable substitute for killing, but only if it is for the purpose of plank walking at a later time.
44. When swimming, pirates do not dive. They cannonball.
45. Cannoneers aboard a pirate vessel are not allowed to use hearing protection of any sort. No matter what the OSHA regulations say, if ye can't stand bleedin' from the ears, you have no business being a Pirate.
46. A pirate will never wear a patch that is any other color than black; unless it's halloween. then they can wear a patch with an eyeball painted on the outside. Polka dots are not permitted under any circumstances.
47. Female pirates are allowed some exception to rules concerning hygiene and garmentry, but must make up for it by using twice as much profanity.
48. Hooks are the only acceptable hand substitute. However, they may not have secondary attachments such as screwdrivers, bottle openers, corkscrews, or nail files. These are Pirates we're talking about, not Inspector Gadget.
49. A pirate's diet consists mainly of meat. If at sea, and meat is not available, shoe leather is an acceptable replacement.
50. Pirate Law: You can't spell pirate, without "irate". There's a reason for that, so don't even try
51. No pirate will ever, ever raise his pinky when drinking any sort of beverage.
52. Pirate Law: When choosing clothing, even if it looks dirty, or smells dirty, it is clean.
53. A pirate may ride in a rowboat, if traveling to or from his ship. Use of a Kayak is only permitted if used for cannon target practice.
54. When drinking rum, the only thing a pirate adds to the rum is more rum.
55. The official Pirate religion is Pastafarianism.
56. No pirate shall ever play wiffle ball.
57. Under no circumstances does a pirate speak with a Ninja, unless he first decapitates that Ninja and uses his head like a sock puppet.
58. When at the office, answering the telephone with "Arrrrrrr" is perfectly acceptable for pirates. Other acceptable choices are "Avast!", and "Ahoy Matey!"
59. A Pirate does not read poetry, unless said poetry is scrawled on the wall of a bathroom.
60. All women are to be referred to as wenches, with the exception of female Pirates, who can be referred to as "lass".
61. Pirates do not clean up, except when gold falls out of a treasure chest.
62. Spilling rum is not acceptable, except in the act of "pouring some out for dead mateys".
63. A pirate may tell any tale of swashbuckling without being called on the details, as long as at least 51% of the story is true.
64. A pirate may never shave below the neck. Shaving above the neck is allowed, but only if the pirate shaves his entire head. In the presence of cannibals, a mohawk is acceptable.
65. No pirate may do the arm movements for "YMCA", or engage in country-western line-dancing.
66. Pirates do not say "please" or "thank you". The phrase "Arrr, I'll probably kill you tomorrow" is an acceptable alternative for "Thank you".
67. Should the ship's bow have a carving of a naked wench, mermaid, or something of the like, crew members should not touch it. Feeling up a wooden statue is unbecoming of a pirate.
68. Pirates do not "IM". The only instant message allowed is a sword through the chest.
69. Dental Hygiene for Pirates is not a priority. Should there be occasion, however, strong rum or salt water can be used as mouthwash. Anything "minty fresh" is strictly forbidden.
70. Pirates never, ever obey laws. Period. Ironic, I realize.

And finally, How do you know if you are a pirate? You just "Arrrrrrrr"...

sursa: http://www.piratelaws.com/

duminică, 7 iunie 2009

Ai, Mamma Mia!

Cum reactioneaza femeia unui pilot F1 cand barbatul apasa un pic mai MULT pedala?

sâmbătă, 6 iunie 2009

Ce este pufos si mananci zi de zi? Sigur nu un articol de lenjerie! Sau oare?!

Era in plan sa va povestesc despre un film ce mi-a placut mult, stiu. Insa am dat astazi peste un filmulet pe blogul unui prieten, Mihai, care arata niste tipi ce vin sa danseze la un concurs gen 'ce stii sa faci'. Si nu de alta, dar m-am prapadit de ras. Va recomand cu cel mai mare ranjet sa-l vizionati!





Later edit: discurile alea sunt niste turte de paine, de aici titlul.

vineri, 5 iunie 2009

Reduceri the western way? Por que no?!


Astazi era planuit un film review(il fac diseara), insa mi-am adus aminte aseara de o reclama bestiala care circula la spanioli, in anotimpul reducerilor. Da, imi plac reclamele bine facute, si s-ar putea sa va intoxic din cand in cund cu astfel de posturi. Si da, am zis anotimpul. De ce? Nu pentru ca ar fi un intreg anotimp, evident, insa pentru ca sunt reduceri MARI. Si adevarate! Si cand zic MARI nu ma refer la reduceri de 15, 25, 35 %, cum se practica la noi(si unii le practica numai la vitrina magazinului, ca inauntru nu se cunoaste la portofel nici o reducere), ci la reduceri de 30%, 50%, si chiar 70% sau mai rar, 80%. DA, 70%. Si sunt pe bune, se vede frate ca il iei mai ieftin! Reducerile sunt asa si la magazinele mici si la cele cu fite. Chiar daca sunt magazine cu lucruri scumpe, cand sunt reduceri, apoi reduceri sunt frate!, lasa din pret cat % scrie pe vitrina, si in loc sa pleci cu un pantalon scump si de firma, pleci cu 2-3 itemi de firma.
Printre primele lucruri pe care le-am vazut la ei a fost un magazin, El Corte Ingles(Taietura Englezeasca), cam cel mai tare magazin de acolo in materie de haine(vbim de magazine, nu case de moda). Sunt insa pline cu de toate, au si supermarket inauntru, si articole de tot felul, gen real sau selgross/metro(apropo, era si metro in spania, dar se numea altfel-ceva gen mekro-si avea si produsele aro aferente). Eram in Malaga, un oras splendid din care am reusit sa vad mult prea putin intr-o ora de plimbare. Eram veniti din Romania si tata a zis sa ma plimbe putin prin oras. Si cum era aproape de unde eram, m-a dus la Corte Ingles(care era inchis din pacate, era muuuult prea devreme). Dar acum, cand privesc inapoi, mi-aduce aminte de filmele alea glossy in care o adolescenta e antrenata de o prietena mai mare in lumea shoppingului-si cum poti initia pe cineva in shopping, decat ducand-o la cel mai tare mall din oras? Ei, cam asa si eu, mi-a fost prezentat din prima cel mai tare magazin de la ei. Am mai vazut eu si alte lucruri acolo, insa nu despre asta vroiam sa va vorbesc.
In perioada Craciunului si a Pastelui, ei au reduceri mari pentru ca in primul caz se dau cadouri(Si nu mai vezi o reclama pt detergent la tv sau alte produse obisnuite. Toate reclamele sunt la jucarii, si parfumuri. Si cand zic TOATE, nu exagerez!) si in al doilea caz pentru ca de regula coincide cu schimbarile de stoc pt vara(si prin martie aprilie sunt reduceri din cauza schimbarilor de stoc, insa nu tin asa mult) si presupun ca si la ei vine Iepurasul. Craciunul la ei e sarbatoare importata, mai mult e chestia de impodobit casa, ca nu isi prea impart ei cadouri de Mos Craciun. Mos Nicolae nici atat. Ei au Regii Magi pe 6 ian, si acestia aduc cadouri copiilor. Deci pentru copii romani, e cel mai tare acolo pt ca au Sf Nicolae, Craciunul,Regii Magi! Pentru mine si mai si: Sf Nicolae, Craciunul(si zi de nume cica), data nasterii, Regii MAgi, si Sf Ion(iar zi de nume)! OMG!

Si unde vroiam sa ajung de fapt cu acest post, care s-a lungit fara seaman... Era o reclama la reducerile pe care le fac astia aproape de Craciun, prin nov-dec, cu o prezentatoare extraordinar de frumoasa, sexi, cu o voce de te baga in boale(adica tot sexy, dar nu vroam sa repet) si care e imbracata in stilul anilor 60, care acum de cand cu Amy Winehouse si cu Duffy, e atat de la moda si chic. And she looks great! And she's funny too! Oh, I'm so dreamy right now... :))

Si iata ce spune:
Vreau sa lansez un mesaj
analistilor de bursa
brokerilor
si expertilor economici!
Familiei mele,
prietenelor mele,
indicelui nikkei
vecinelor mele,
celor pe care nu ii cunosc
si tie!


Uite ce pantofi mi-am luat pentru 39 de Euro!

si la sfarsit exclama: In sfarsit!





joi, 4 iunie 2009

Cel mai tare post TV pe care l-am vazut!

Pentru cei care nu stiu, am fost plecat cam vreo 10 luni in Spania. M-am adaptat greu,din cauza unor motive ce nu le voi enunta aici, si cand am plecat mi-am dat seama cat de mult mi-a placut acolo. E cu totul si cu totul alta lume, un nivel de civilizatie la care noi o sa speram mereu si niciodata nu cred ca-l vom dobani.
Mi-am adus aminte de niste promo-uri pentru serialul Anatomia lui Grey, acompaniate de melodia lui Dido(Don't believe in love).Serialele cele mai tari erau date de postul Cuatro(4) de aceea spune la inceput Las series eligen cuatro(Serialele aleg cuatro.). Dadeau Anatomia, House,Kyle XY,Brothers and Sisters, Gossip Girl, si mai multe. Revenind la melodie,acel promo tv era singurul loc unde o puteam asculta, deoarece nici la radio nu o dadea inca, si eram disperat sa vad reclamele acelea mai ceva ca un fan inrait sa-si vada serialul iubit pentru ca imi place Dido, iar melodia era wwo...wwoa..WOAH!!!. Ceea ce se intampla in serial se imbina perfect cu mesajul melodiei.
Nu cred ca veti intelege tot din ceea ce zic aia pe acolo(evident serialul e dublat in spaniola) insa nu asta conteaza,cei care v-ati uitat la Anatomie, stiti cam despre ce e vorba si ce anume trateaza ca tematica, si trebuie numai sa... simtiti! Enjoy!






miercuri, 3 iunie 2009

Sa fiu Superman? DA! Oricand!


Astazi, dupa ce am plecat acasa, in plina strada,m-a cuprins un sentiment puternic de lehamite si nervi. Dintr-o data, pur si simplu m-am simtit satul de toate chestiile pe care le impune societatea. Trebuie sa fii asa, si sa faci asa, ca altfel nu e bine, nu e normal. Ce este normal? Cine spune ce este sau nu este bine? De ce trebuie sa-ti faci prieteni? Sau sa ai un suflet pereche? De ce trebuie sa te casatoresti? Sa faci copii? De ce? Cine spune ca asta trebuie sa faci in viata? Ca trebuie sa suferi de aiurea, din pricina atator lucruri? De ce este omul fiinta sociala? Uneori ma gandesc ca sunt norocosi cei care nu simt nevoia sa se vada cu alti oameni(bine, nu stiu cat e de pe bune asta, sau doar frica de a fi ranit). Am cunoscut pe cineva de genul asta. Este foarte amabil, te viziteaza daca esti la indemana(preferabil vecin), sta de vba cu tine, dar daca nu te vede 5 ani nu il intereseaza, nu simte dorul tau sau ceva de genul. Uneori mi-ar place sa fiu asa. Traim intr-o societate in care ni se impune totul. Nu stiu daca sunt un adept al anarhismului. Nici toate aceste idei nu sunt ale mele, insa am ajuns sa cred in ele. De fapt, nu e chestia de credinta. Sunt adevarate, doar ca nu te gandesti la rece mereu incat sa ajungi la concluziile astea. Relatiile intra-umane sunt o prostie inventata tot de noi, evoluata din timpuri stravechi si nu are alt efect decat de a ne face sa ne simtim mizerabil. Amintirile neplacute raman adancite in memorie, pe cand cele placute le uiti mai usor. De ce trebuie sa-ti faci familie si copii? Pentru ca asa vor parintii tai, pentru ca toata lumea o face.Si cum sa iesi tu din turma si sa fii diferit?
Ma cuprinsese si un sentiment de furie. O furie brusca si aproape incontrolabila.(Simtiti uneori asa ceva? Sa va cuprinda deodata si in clipa urmatoare sa te lase?) Furie ca sunt prost si ma gandesc la tot felul de prostii, ca mi se nazare, ca ma ia gura pe dinainte si mai bine tac din gura cand vreau sa spun ceva, oricat as vrea sa ma descarc. Urasc faptul ca sunt atat de naiv si debil!
As vrea sa fiu puternic, singular in lume, sa nu am nevoie de nimeni pentru a ma simti bine, sa nu... M-am si pierdut in ganduri. Toata chestia asta a fost de moment,au trecut ore de cand am simtit-o Dar sentimentul general de neplacere ramane... Asa mi se intampla mie, imi trece repede totul. Si suparare, si ranchiuna si tot.(Din pacate.) Si as vrea sa fiu mai 'misterios', sa mai tin si pentru mine unele lucruri, insa nu pot. De ce m-am invatat sa spun orisice (insa nu orisicui) nu stiu! Ai mei nu fac asta, poate ca semen cu altcineva din alte generatii.
As vrea sa fiu ca un Superman, puternic, dur, necrutator, unic in lume, si sper deosebire de el, sa nu simt nevoia de contact cu umanitatea, sa fiu multumit cu statul meu zeiesc.

marți, 2 iunie 2009

Povestea lucrurilor

Un documentar de 20 min. E si subtitrat, si este destul de interesant.


The Story of Stuff - Romanian from www.storyofstuff.ro on Vimeo.

The Story of Stuff - Romanian translation.



Povestea lucrurilor, cu Annie Leonard.

www.storyofstuff.ro

luni, 1 iunie 2009

Impresii despre filme


Am vazut de cand am venit incoace Mumia 3 si Madagascar 2. Decat asa, mai bine nu le mai faceau. Rachel Weisz a stiut de ce nu a jucat si in a 3-a parte a Mumiei. Si a doua a fost slabuta fata de prima, dar a 3-a chiar a lasat mult de dorit. Atatea clisee, cum vezi numai in filme de mana a 2-a! Pacat de Michelle Yeoh, pentru ca sincer chiar imi place de ea, si nu prea a jucat in filme proaste. Jet Li face filme de actiune, nu am asa mari pretentii de la el, iar Brendan Fraser e cu comediile,dar chiar si asa ma asteptam ca un film cu nume mari sa fie mai bine scris.
Madagascar 2 a lasat mult de dorit. Nu se compara cu primul nici cat negru sub unghie! Faza cu babuta mi s-a parut foarte trasa de par. Inteleg ca e desen animat si ca totul este posibil, dar chiar sa vezi o babuta mica (oricat de a dracului ar fi) ca sare pe leu si-l bate? HELLO?!?!?! Unde traiti domnii scenaristi? Nu vi se pare putin cam aiurea, chiar si pt un desen animat? Si sa mai si insiste pe chestia asta in felul in care au insistat in film...
Am vazut si a 81a Premiere a Academiei de Film(aka The 2009 Oscars) si mi-a placut, m-am distrat. Nu stiu daca este la fel de distractiva decat MTV Awards sau altele de genul, pt ca acela e destinat publicului obisnuit pe cand la Oscaruri sunt invitati numai oamenii din lumea filmului si presa. Spectacolul dureaza vreo 2h30' parca, si m-am cam plictisit pe alocuri, pt ca erau multe filme pe care nu le stiam, si pt ca in specatol, chiar si cel filmat, premiaza tot ce inseamna film, de la scenariu si pana la produsul finit.
In concluzie, a fost un spectacol pe cinste!